I have discovered that the way to make plans for my life, is to not make plans. I have been striving and forcing the creation of what I believe to be what is best for me and my life and how I can perform and fit into society. I have found this ‘striving’ to prove ineffective. Like very ineffective. Forcing is not the way but our society may guide us into a different opinion.
So I have walked to the precipice, I stand here striped down from the inside out, bowing to nature and all the teachers that have come before me standing in this same very spot. I ask to stay open, stay present and allow the light of the universe to enter my heart and guide me to my place in this earth.
The insides of my body yearn for roots, to grow deep into the earth and begin to charge my space with gratitude and feed the spirits, I have found that just because I feel this way, it is not solid that that is what will unfold for me in this moment.
So I let go, completely and efficiently. I stand here with a humble aura laughing at my follies of ‘trying’ to hard and resting in all that is. After all it’s all juicy in the journey no? In gratitude I can say my life has been a constant journey, I am in good health and my heart is abundant to share with those around me, should I really be asking for more at this point?
No. I choose to rest. I choose to Sweat. I choose to feed the spirits and call the higher powers and helpers for guidance. Until the answer, I rest upon the precipice.
Am I tired? yes…. Would I love an answer right now like the instant gratification societal influence I am used too? of course… Do I have control of anything? No. Never.