Freeravin has moved states in a hurricane vortex motion, quickly occurring during an overnight decision and packing the trailer the next day. This forward motion is something I am used to with my gypsy blood and my onward and upward spiraling motion. What I have not been used to is questioning myself so frequently as of late.
A new town means new people, new roads, new jobs, new whether and knowing that for a little while, nothing will seem familiar. Trying to drive to a store may include google maps, phone calls and many wrong turns. Wanting to find help with moving into a new house may include moving all day solo covered in sweat feeling far from a family one knows and loves. But through these forward motions my heart knows great benefit may occur.
Another happening that may occur is listening to others opinions rather then honoring my own inner voice. Either resting in my conscious mind or sub-conscience mins I have yet to be sure of but either way, my first month plus of being in the town of Sebastopol, CA. I found myself listening to the persuasive voice of those around me thinking they would know better, rather then grounding myself into this beautiful new town and siphoning from my own inner voice. Feeling so uncertain about what one does in a new vista, I listened, not inward but outward. I was in a seeking motion forgetting that all is already with in me already, and all I have to do is listen.
The uncertain parts of my being grew as I continued this outward motion, and the certain parts of my being shrank and hid from being ignored. This led me down the bumpiest of roads, feeling lost, hopeless and in a state of back and forth confusion.
Thankfully this tailspin is coming to a close after thousands of dollars lost, but years of wisdom gained. Remembering what i have been told by all teachers that have raised me to the place I rest in now, all is already with in me. All I need is me, and an open heart to listen to myself and my own inner needs. This can be hard for me as this is a very sexy new town, with many new people and my child like curiosity brings me wide eyes and captivated into the plans of others, feeling like a gullible little bunny rabbit. The days past and I grew more and more cloudy loosing touch with that precious inner voice, until yesterday.
I spent the day with a beautiful old yet new friend walking through nature, sharing hearts and found that this happiness of simplicity is my true nature, that the dreams I thought were mine were not mine at all and the small child inside of me that has been crying out for me to listen was being ignored to the point of distinction. I woke up, again. I realized my position in this world and the beauty of all that I am, I woke back up to my magic hands and what they create for people and began to re-focus, and settle down.
Loosing money os nothing compared to loosing all I have cultivated with in myself. I learned now, how to move to a new place, dance my own special dance and listen to myself above all others. I learned that a sexy shiny draw of an outward searching motion is okay in rations, but if lived on becomes draining and then destructive.
My true dream, the dream I will activate and accomplish in this life is moving to a land all my own, where I have a small ranch house, a couple of horses and a partner I love through and through that loves me through and through. I work from home creating a space of Holistic Healing With White Fox Holistic and I send out my lovely creations to adorn Goddess around the world through Freeravin Designs. I train my horses teaching them the honest soul filled dance one can manifest between human and horse and I listen to their hearts. We share our dancing gifts with the world and bring in other humans to teach them this very gift they can themselves cultivate with a horse, which can also be applied to people.
This dream, this life long dream of mine will manifest now that I am listening to that tiny voice inside, I will feed her until she becomes strong again, as I know she will never lead me astray from this beautiful dream I long to live. So welcome to California Freeravin, it’s been intense, but let’s allow that intensity to shift us into a space of loving creation so that our means may carry us into the heart of our dreams.
“How did you get here?
Close your eyes and surrender.”
“They are the chosen ones who have surrendered.”
“The hurt that we embrace becomes joy.”