As a woman, I have had many moons to experience the throes of PMS coming and going through my life like a man who never calls and yet still I wonder what it’s all about. It happens the same time every month I wake up and there she is, ferocious in all her glory, my pet PMS tiger. I haven’t yet named her in the hopes that one day she will move on never to join me again but that has yet to stop her from coming, month after month.
I am a very positive person, I love to look on the bright side of life and I have spent a glorious number of hours training my mind to see the world as an opportunity for growth taking everything in stride always. Yet when SHE, my inner tiger comes back I find myself digressing into a place within me that wants to eat the head right off of every person in front me whether they provoke the tiger, or not. She isn’t picky at all really, and isn’t discriminating either, she really is just out for blood and this is the gap in my understanding.
You see, she arrives in a sneaky manner, I’ll be driving down the road having had a great phone convo with a smile on my face, then a car will break in front of me quite quickly and I’ll yell, “YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Shocking myself! That’s when ill hang my head low in disapproval of her yet again monthly arrival and say to myself, “Oh gracious that fucking tiger is back.”
It feels like a whole other person sneaks into my body then awakens every little thing that ever irritated me in my life and pokes at each and every trigger, even after I explode she keeps poking them. Someone will smile at me in the grocery store and my internal response will be, “That man can’t keep his energy to himself!” Like a two-year-old having a fit, on the inside.
I know tigers are beautiful and all, I just don’t enjoy it when she comes to post up inside of MY body just waiting to prey on all the innocents around me. It’s crazy how vicious she can be as well, and then I think to myself, “Do men REALLY understand what happens to us internally each month? Or do they just ‘think’ they know and complain about it to their buddies.” I have a sneaking suspicion if they REALLY did know how it felt like to live with a tiger they surely would have more understanding for our present circumstance and instead of provoking us, would wrap us in a warm blanket and pour chocolate sauce all over our face to calm us.
I would LOVE for a man to truly sink into what happens during a PMS moment when we get extra extra extra sensitive to everything around us and feel everything changing in the ocean tides. We feel the wind shift .2 degrees to the right and god forbid if our cycle lands on a full moon and we get the amplification of her alignment as well! When mine lands close to a full moon I tend to ‘blanket dive’ which is when I dive into a heap of blankets and only come out for food and water with the intention of not chewing on anyone I love, intentionally.
This IS a more sensitive time for us that is for sure, but the way society has built up around our red tent it no longer allows us a week off to vision, a week off to sip tea and chat with our fellow Tiger harboring females. We must PUSH through this period every month and ‘pretend’ to be alright and un-emotional because that’s what society has deemed acceptable. I hear that I really do, I am not writing to encourage the release of the Tiger’s, my intention for writing this today was to ignite more AWARENESS into the fields of men who don’t have to experience this so that they may gaze at us with a sense of compassion rather than frustration. If they can step into our bodies for just a minute they would have the temperament to create a waterfall of compassion for us and the feelings we wade through.
To all my fellow Tiger harboring woman, I feel you. I feel the poking of the trigger and I feel the urge to eat the heads off of the fellow humans around us, the urges are no joke. However, my current clear take away from this time in our lives is currently centered around being able to survive anything happening inside of our bodies with the grace of a ballerina. We are being strong armed into a higher state of evolution and evolve we must get past this terrifying week, and to think this is happening to us every month is just beyond me so let’s just take it one day at a time.
We wouldn’t have this current circumstance if we couldn’t handle it, that I know for sure. So now that we know we can handle it, it must be compassion medicine for that’s the only antidote to allowing myself to feel what I feel during this intense time, and not judge myself for it. I practice not thinking of myself as a crazy person or judge how I eat or judge how much I want to sleep but to become a ‘tiger’ watcher and just view the happenings with even a slight sense of laughter at the clown shoe vision of it all.
So in a sense, it was given to us as a gift and if we can somehow work with our tiger as a gift, then we will begin to crown ourselves for our achievements! We will begin to see our sensitivity as our super human power and our inner tiger can even become our fierce animal totem guiding us through the depths of mankind. Who’s to say we can’t call on her when it’s not her scheduled visitation times?
I don’t feel like writing any more for my mood has just changed yet again, so with compassion, I leave these last words on your heart to activate the compassion for us tiger bearing woman who are just trying to get through the day while not eating your head off.