This day and age dating has taken a funny turn…It seems people are either referring to instant swiping apps degrading humanity to a swipe or just going to bars for hook ups. I myself, to be perfectly honest have been less then impressed with suitable male options to date at the present moment, but nothing can dampen my spirit for the future!
When I think of myself and who I am (which I have been doing a lot due to sheer puzzle-ment over the way current peers are dating) in regards to how I want to be in love or be courted I am beginning to feel vastly outdated. I am ripe, I am 35 and I am successful. I am a strong ass woman and I can take care of EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING myself.
This doesn’t mean that I WANT to take care of everything myself, it means that I can. When I think of dating, I think of being courted. A man calls on me, brings me flowers, asks me to dinner then asks me questions about MYSELF! Then, he actually listens as I answer said questions, while looking into my eyes and NOT checking his phone. I see him picking me up at my front door, not honking while outside my gate. I see him opening the car door for me, and driving slowly so I don’t get scared. I see him paying for dinner to be a gentleman and then escorting me to the door, hoping for a kiss after the second date!
I see him wanting to take me to the beach, spend hours just laying on the sand gazing at the sky. Picking up sea shells then head home to make dinner and make some love! I see courtship and love forming on a delicate balance of patience, understanding and unconditional love! I see him earning the privilege to meet my family and spend time with that part of me and my life, and loving how I am just as present, caring and compassionate towards him! To be quite frank, if someone lands me as his gal, he would have an unstoppable support force behind him. He would obtain endless motivation, endless inspiration and be infused with more love then his heart can even process.
That’s my vision, and it is currently quite far from my current reality! Current reality has consisted of dating men who are older then me in years on the planet, but vastly younger in maturity. They think that if they invite you over, they get to have sex with you even though they spend no time inquiring about your inner self. They think that they don’t have to come to your front door to take you on a date, that honking outside or texting when they are out front is appropriate. They act as if your an accessory when you’re out with them, and don’t ever ask if your ok with the nights plans.
Basically, they are adult children. My last dating extravaganza consisted of dating a guy who began to call me his girlfriend even though he was not showing up for me, or even treating me kindly. When I approached him to mention that calling me his girlfriend was out of the question until he actually showed up like an amazing man, he apologized and tried harder. But for him, his trying was more like a puppy trying to make a bed, it just won’t work and the more he would talk about trying the less he would actually do.
I began to sit in my single-ness today, as I got a call from my father with an incredible gift. He and my mother had just been to a wedding and they were feeling sentimental, and I reckon my father was hoping to see me actually get married someday. He rang me from Paris and said, “Honey, would you be open to going on a ‘singles’ trip, like an adventure where you can go with other single people with the hopes of meeting someone special?” I felt so overwhelmed with the gift that a tear actually formed in my eye, as I responded, “OMG yes!! I would love that!”
It wasn’t until that moment that I realized, we get out of life what we put in. I put 100% into every business adventure I have every day. I pull 10 hour days 6 days a week with a half work day most Sundays. I have my goals clearly defined and my desired income clearly defined as well. I study business tactics and success journals trying to discover how to rearrange myself so I can be endlessly successful. I love it as well! I love having drive and I love watching my goals unfold in a successful state right before my very eyes! It’s Magic!
Then I thought of how I think of dating, and my energy level went kaput! I allowed my perceived misfortune to color how I viewed men, and I allowed the past to design my future! I am not ok with either of these instances and thank god for the single trip offering or who knows how long I would have been operating in this state! I began to see how when I thought of dating men, I instantly thought of men as ‘losers.’ (NOT MEANT TO OFFEND!) . My experience of them is that they are WAY less evolved them woman, and way less tuned in.
That being said, if I allow my vision to see men in that light, then that WILL be my reality! I realized I have to buck up, keep my chin up and see men as I want to see them, and hold that vision so I vibrate in that location! Like attracts like! So I hold onto my vision from the first part of this blog, I see my strong man opening my car door, buying me dinner and making sure I am not cold. I see him holding me as I sleep at night to allow me to feel protection and safety. I see him and I traveling the world and having adventures that only he and I can create with one another!
I CHOOSE to release my past and let it live where it ought to live, in the PAST!
I know ladies this isn’t’ an easy take when you have been done over on more then one occasion, but take it from me it’s possible! If I can do it, then anyone can!
So here is to a new present moment with eyes wide open and heart wide open!
However, since I am still single I choose to make dancing videos with my horse, so I present this one for all to enjoy!
Happy dating everyone!
PS! I have an incredible Book Launch happening tomorrow as well! So if you want to read a book that inspires you to become your best self and conquer anything life throws at you check out “Follow the Medicine, Awakening Self Empowerment!” go to www.scarletravin.com and get your copy! ”
If you buy your’s on SEPTEMBER 19th! You’ll get a free E-BOOK I wrote just for this occasion!